A Dollarby David Pinski
Format of Original Source: Play
Recommended Adaptation Length:
Candidate for Adaptation? Promising
[INGENUE starts sobbing. TRAGEDIAN laughs heavily.
COMEDIAN. [Turning over to the INGENUE.] What! You are crying? Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?
INGENUE. I’m sad.
“OLD WOMAN.” [Sniffling.] I can’t stand it any longer.
HEROINE. Stop it! Or I’ll start bawling, too.
[COMEDIAN springs to his knees and looks quickly from one woman to the other.
VILLAIN. Ha–ha! Cheer them up, clown!
COMEDIAN. [Jumps up abruptly without the aid of his hands.] Ladies and gentlemen, I have it! [In a measured and singing voice.] Ladies and gentlemen, I have it!
HEROINE. What have you?
VILLAIN. Go bury yourself, clown.
TRAGEDIAN. [As before.] Ho-ho-ho!
“OLD MAN.” P-o-o-h!
[The women weep all the louder.
COMEDIAN. I have–a bottle of whiskey!
[General commotion. The women stop crying and look up to the COMEDIAN in amazement; the TRAGEDIAN straightens himself out and casts a surprised look at the COMEDIAN; the “OLD MAN,” rubbing his hands, jumps to his feet; the VILLAIN looks suspiciously at the COMEDIAN.
TRAGEDIAN. A bottle of whiskey?
“OLD MAN.” He-he-he–A bottle of whiskey.
COMEDIAN. You bet!
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