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A Dollar

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A Dollar

by David Pinski

Genre: Comedy
Setting: Fantasy
Format of Original Source: Play
Recommended Adaptation Length:

Candidate for Adaptation? Promising


[INGENUE starts sobbing. TRAGEDIAN laughs heavily.

COMEDIAN. [Turning over to the INGENUE.] What! You are crying? Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?

INGENUE. I’m sad.

“OLD WOMAN.” [Sniffling.] I can’t stand it any longer.

HEROINE. Stop it! Or I’ll start bawling, too.

[COMEDIAN springs to his knees and looks quickly from one woman to the other.

VILLAIN. Ha–ha! Cheer them up, clown!

COMEDIAN. [Jumps up abruptly without the aid of his hands.] Ladies and gentlemen, I have it! [In a measured and singing voice.] Ladies and gentlemen, I have it!

HEROINE. What have you?

COMEDIAN. Cheerfulness.

VILLAIN. Go bury yourself, clown.

TRAGEDIAN. [As before.] Ho-ho-ho!

“OLD MAN.” P-o-o-h!

[The women weep all the louder.

COMEDIAN. I have–a bottle of whiskey!

[General commotion. The women stop crying and look up to the COMEDIAN in amazement; the TRAGEDIAN straightens himself out and casts a surprised look at the COMEDIAN; the “OLD MAN,” rubbing his hands, jumps to his feet; the VILLAIN looks suspiciously at the COMEDIAN.

TRAGEDIAN. A bottle of whiskey?

“OLD MAN.” He-he-he–A bottle of whiskey.

VILLAIN. Hum–whiskey.

COMEDIAN. You bet!


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