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by AA Milne

Genre: Comedy
Setting: England
Format of Original Source: Play
Recommended Adaptation Length:

Candidate for Adaptation? Promising


OLIVIA. Ah, here they are. . . .

GEORGE. Where are you going to put ’em?

OLIVIA (as if really wondering). I don’t quite know. . . . I had thought of this room, but–I’m not quite sure.

GEORGE. Brighten the room up a bit.

OLIVIA. Yes. . . .

GEORGE (walking over to the present curtains). H’m. They are a bit faded.

OLIVIA (shaking out hers, and looking at them critically). Sometimes I think I love them, and sometimes I’m not quite sure.

GEORGE. Best way is to hang ’em up and see how you like ’em then. Always take ’em down again.

OLIVIA. That’s rather a good idea, George!

GEORGE. Best way.

OLIVIA. Yes. . . . I think we might do that. . . . The only thing is–(she hesitates).


OLIVIA. Well, the carpet and the chairs, and the cushions and things–

GEORGE. What about ’em?

OLIVIA. Well, if we had new curtains–

GEORGE. You’d want a new carpet, eh?

OLIVIA (doubtfully). Y–yes. Well, new chair-covers anyhow.

GEORGE. H’m. . . . Well, why not?

OLIVIA. Oh, but–

GEORGE (with an awkward laugh). We’re not so hard up as all that, you know.

OLIVIA. No, I suppose not. (Thoughtfully) I suppose it would mean that I should have to go up to London for them. That’s rather a nuisance.

GEORGE (extremely casual). Oh, I don’t know. We might go up together one day.

OLIVIA. Well, of course if we were up–for anything else–we could just look about us, and see if we could find what we want.

GEORGE. That’s what I meant.

(There is another silence. GEORGE is wondering whether to come to closer quarters with the great question.)

OLIVIA. Oh, by the way, George–


OLIVIA (innocently). I told Brian, and I expect he’ll tell Dinah, that Mr. Pim had made a mistake about the name.

GEORGE (astonished). You told Brian that Mr. Pim–

OLIVIA. Yes–I told him that the whole thing was a mistake. It seemed the simplest way.

GEORGE. Olivia! Then you mean that Brian and Dinah think that–that we have been married all the time?


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